Work Hard, Play Harder

I have returned to my 12 hour shifts in the ER since having my daughter. I’ve been working, but from home, which has afforded an incredible luxury of teaching mostly in the evenings after the kids are in bed for the night. I answer emails and post things during nap time, and get to spend all day playing and running after my toddler and 4 month old. 

As I headed back to the hospital this week I was reminded of just how hard it is to be a working mom...

This comes on so many different levels. First of all I love being a nurse and I really enjoy my job working in the ER. I am an adrenaline junkie and love the fast-paced, high stakes critical thinking that comes with the territory. I also love the opportunity to be present to people and make a difference on what could very well be one of the hardest or scariest days of their lives. I have the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Christ in all that I do. And when I remember how much I love my job, I am tempted to jump right back in to over-committing myself and jumping on the trajectory of clinical career advancement-something I have decided to take a step back from for a few years while I raise my kids.

It was easier to leave the kids this time around because they love days they get to hang out with Nana and Papa. When I told Hudson we were going to “Nan and Pa’s” he replied, “Nan! Pa! Bye mom!” He was clearly letting me know that he would be fine without me for a few hours. It is a blessing to have my in-laws willing and able to watch them and to know they also get quality Daddy time in the evening when I am at work. This time around I also know they will still love me when they see me again in the morning.

My 12 hour shifts in the ER are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. I am on my feet so much that my Apple Watch thinks I have sufficiently worked out by the end of a shift. I forgot that after 12 hours every limb feels achey and restless, and when I crawled into bed Saturday night I desperately needed a back massage to help me fall asleep. 

I woke up the next morning, exhausted, and to the delighted cries of my toddler looking for “Mom!!!!”

Now, being a mom is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting on a whole different level. Matching the energy and excitement level of a toddler is far more exhausting than I ever imagined. So, on some level, going to work and interacting with adults can feel like an emotional break. On the other hand, the emotional drain at work comes from things like reasoning with all 10 waiting room patients who think their emergency should warrant the next available bed, or resuscitating a patient you took care of and talked to for several hours who then decompensated before your eyes. This is then coupled with late nights shifts and quick turnarounds the next morning to being energetic mommy for my son and middle of the night milk provider for my daughter. 

The day after my first shift back at work I crawled around the floor chasing my son and let him climb on my back for a ride. We built block towers, knocked them over, and built them again. We danced in the kitchen to “Baby Shark” and sang an incredible number of verses to “The Wheels on the Bus”. It was exhausting, but I was so incredibly grateful for these moments. I think finding a balance is hard.
Some days I have clients on my brain and a lot of emails and prep work to complete for teaching, and other days I am ruminating events and cases from my shift at the hospital. My kids don’t know what is going on in my brain, they just know Mom is home and they enjoy every second of our play time together. I am working on balancing work and home so I can be fully present wherever I am on a given day. Fully present to my patients who need me, with a peace of being a working mom because I am providing for my kids. Fully present to my kids who need me to leave teaching work for nap time and bed time. I am grateful I don’t have to work every day, and I am grateful for my days at work that help me really appreciate and make the most of my days home with the kids.

This is my reality, and I strive to balance life well so I can work hard, but then play even harder with my kiddos when I go home. As a mom I get to toss the cares of the world aside while I enter the wonder and awe-filled world of my toddler and infant. This is where laughter abounds, everything is a game, and the little things are amazing.

My new motto is to live, love, work hard, and play harder.

Can you relate?

Journey with me, pray with me, and feel free to comment. 

@nfpteaching
#strivinginmotherhood
www.nfpteaching.com

The Time of My Life

Colorado to Maryland, Maryland to Georgia, Georgia to Colorado. As I sit here on the plane en route to my brother’s wedding I have an overwhelming sense of peace and joy. I am listening to my husband talk my son through the process of takeoff as he waves and exclaims, “Hi man!” to the worker directing plane traffic, and “Bye airplane!” as we pull out on the runway. I am constantly in awe of this man I married and so grateful for his constant love and enthusiasm with our kiddos. 

This is an incredible time in life. It is hard and challenging and utterly exhausting most days, but it is beautiful, joy filled, and packed full of love and wonder.  Everything with a toddler is an adventure, and I set my mind to that when this trip began. Vacation implies relaxation, which is an unrealistic expectation with two under two. “Family adventure” has a much better ring to it, carrying the anticipation of fun and laughter with no expectation of alone time or sleep-just precious, priceless quality time and memories. 

We are halfway through our trip at this point and I am simply filled with joy. No we haven’t slept great and I have lots of caffeine on board, but we continue to laugh, Hudson continues to be in awe of every new place we go, and we are enjoying precious time as a family. I am going to soak-in and revel in every moment because one day vacations will be easy and relaxing again, and I know then I’ll be reminiscing of the days where they loved snuggles and kisses and couldn’t wait to ride an airplane. 

This is a glorious stage. I’m having the time of my life because this time is unlike any other and I don’t want to let it slip away. 

Can you relate? 

Journey with me, pray with me, and feel free to comment!

@nfpteaching 
#strivinginmotherhood 
www.nfpteaching.com