God, Grant me Serenity

I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin for no reason. Restless, closed off, distant, emotional...I just wanted to cry!

Anxiety is hands down my least favorite feeling. It doesn't happen often, but when it does I feel overwhelmed and out of control... a volcano about to explode if I don't find a way to release the restless energy...and boy do I hate feeling out of control! My sweet husband gave me an out to the gym to blow off some steam, the one hour to myself I  needed more than anything. I powered on the elliptical feeling my energy put to good use and feeling relief as sweat trickled down my neck.

Searching for wisdom I came across the following verse:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus". Philippians 4:6-7

This verse took me to prayer. I thought I was looking to scripture for advice, but in all actuality I was looking to solve the problem on my own. I have a pattern always trying to be the one in control. The intentions are good and I think I am handling it all, and then realize that I am actually trying to do it alone. Reflecting on this verse I was called to take a step back. This verse wasn't telling me that I could fix this on my own, rather it reminded me that I needed to let God in and surrender my underlying fears, insecurities, and frustrations. I needed to be okay with letting go of the control, which was the underlying cause of my anxiety.

I am working to bring God in to every part of my daily life. I shouldn't just call when I need Him, but I should invite Him in to even the simple, mundane aspects of my everyday living. I am striving to find the constant peace and security that comes with His presence. I need to stop trying to be in control and let go of the unrealistic expectations that only I set for myself. I am loved simply for who I am. I am always enough. 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Jesus, I trust in You. 

Can you relate? 

Journey with me, pray with me, and feel free to comment.

@nfpteaching #strivinginmotherhood nfpteaching.com