Play Dates or Mom Dates

Who are your people? Do you have even one person you can call on when things get tough or who you feel "gets" you? I talk about this a lot with nursing. You have to have someone you can process your day with who was in the trenches with you and understands the physical, mental, and emotional toll of the job.

Motherhood is the same way.

This week I was reminded of the importance of having community. After Claire's baptism we invited people back to the house for dinner. I was overwhelmed with gratitude as I looked around at all the amazing friends in our life. We have friends in all stages, but all who have been present in different ways to love and support us in our life journey. The kids ran around and played together and the house was filled with conversation, laughter, and joy.

I once heard that you will only take a handful of people with you through each stage of life, and found this to be true as I moved from childhood to high school, college, single life, married life, and now life with children. The reality is you need some people who are experiencing life as you are. These are the people who understand the hardest days because they too are going through it themselves. I have friends in all stages of life and it is important to hold on to those friendships that are dear to you, but it is also important to expand your friend group so you don't feel alone.

Motherhood can feel isolating.

In the beginning you're not sleeping and not sure how you're going to survive. No one told you it was going to be this hard! Your schedule revolves around nap time, feedings, and the limitations based on the age of your child. Then you have two kids and feel like you can never leave the house for more than an hour before someone needs to be breastfed or it's time for the other's nap. Sometimes it's easier to stay home then try to coordinate all the diapers and snacks you need to be out of the house for two hours...and that's if you get out of the house on time!

Play dates are life giving! I have a group of friends and all our kids were born within a year of each other. When we started getting together they would all lay on the floor and roll, and now they run around putting buckets on each other's heads and steal each other's toys. While we enjoy watching them play and the kids love it, us moms have decided that they are really "Mom dates". This is the 1-2 hours we get to sit and process the joys and struggles of motherhood. I know I'm not the only one with a toddler who throws tantrums and some days runs my patience to the ground, and it is nice to share ideas and be affirmed in my role as mom. We are all doing our best and supporting each other in this stage of life.

You will never regret getting out of the house to socialize, even if it's in your yoga pants and hair in a messy bun. All of us moms know we're not perfect and it is so life giving to be surrounded by people who are real, not afraid to talk about the hard things, and who are there to build you up.

Find your people. If you don't have any, google mom groups, ask around at your church or place of work, or find a group like "MOPS" (mothers of preschoolers). If you have a group, be that one to invite someone in with a new baby. Moms have to support each other. In this day where most of us are balancing home, work, life, marriage, and motherhood, we need an intentional group that provides love and support.

Find ways to be in community. We are made to walk through life with others, not alone.

Can you relate? 

Journey with me, pray with me, and feel free to comment.

@nfpteaching #strivinginmotherhood nfpteaching.com